Doctor Ritz

Sometimes I do pity my dog. The girls make him a doctor, a patient, a chair, a phone carrier and they even put on hair band, backpacks and ribbons on him. Poor ritz... I think he really wants to get out of our place fast! Isabelle is starting to not fear him so it's his turn to fear her. She pulls his tail with glee, bite his ears (don't think she likes that) and sits on him. I think she's a bigger terror than joelle. At least with joelle, he just got to walk with her by his leash. It should be another week or two before he gets to go home to his kingdom. In AMK, he's the king. He runs the house. Here, he's just the dog with MY SOFA to sleep on! Sigh...

 

Sigh...

Our guests are driving me crazy! Everyone of them.

Wearable Art

  

Mummy is running out of ideas for joelle to do on weekends. She has a longer activity time over the weekends and that usually means painting or more complicated craft like construction or scrapping. I found my old fabric paint in the cardboard the other day while packing so I dig out a white tee shirt from her wardrobe and told her we'll do tee shirt painting that day. She was so excited and couldn't wait to get started. I did the outline for her name and told her she could paint anything above that name so this is what we got at the end of the day. It's actually quite pretty. She's happy to wear her art around and I'm proud to have her be seen in this.  
  

Missing Tigers?

We found two tiger cubs in our living room one evening. They are supposedly eating... from the tray! Must be tigers from the zoo because wild tigers would probably not enjoy food served in a tray. Anyway, they crawl around making growling noises all evening and the next and the next. Its the tiger fever right now! So do not be too alarm if you spot these tiger cubs in the malls or the playground or along the street. They are relatively harmless. Just noisy that's all. Ggggrrooowlll....

Tai Po visits

  

She's a very strong 88 year old lady and she's dave's maternal grandmother. Strong in body, in mind and especially in spirit. She lived a very hard life and she deserves better now. Unfortunately she doesn't have the luxury of choice. She's staying with her son and two grandsons, one of whom is physically disabled and another is hopelessly "disabled". On one hand I pity her, on another I admire her. She has never given up on that two grandsons, especially the hopeless one. At 22, previously married for about a year and a father of a young son himself, he is still jobless and bumming with excuses. Even I have given up helping him already. I really hope she could find comfort in her other two grandsons, one is william and the other is dave. At least these two treats her well. I treat her well too. She deserves an applaud and our respect, really. An extraordinary woman indeed.

     

Birthday plans

Yes I know, it's only june but our dear girl is so excited about her birthday that she's planning for it already. I ask her casually how would she want to celebrate her fifth birthday and after noting that it's going to be a small affair, she says "must have a cake at least" and without hesitation "ice cream and spaghetti". She wants a round cake with princess or mermaid design but changes her mind when I show her some cake designs from polar, prima and swensen's. Well, she has some eight weeks to decide. However we are still unsure about the strength of the party. Isabelle will have a big party for her second birthday (we agreed on big parties for the first three years) and joelle can jump on the wagon and invite her friends as well. It is still in the month of September! So we might make it a cosy family affair for joelle's birthday with her spaghetti, ice cream and princess/mermaid cake. We'll decide soon.

 

Good morning playground 2

  
Good morning! Mummy brought the girls to the playground so that mary could run off to the market. Next week our house will be crowded. Imagine six adults, two children and a dog in a flat. Have never tried that many people but should be tolerable for three weeks (maximum). The girls would bunk in with daddy and mummy for that period of time (can hear joelle celebrating!!!) while mary, MIL and SIL will share the girls' room. As for FIL, he can sleep anywhere except my room! And Ritz... he can continue to be the master of the house. Oh dear... I can kiss my music therapy goodbye for that three weeks. Maybe I can swop to retail therapy for the time being. And it would provide me with ample excuses to max out his card! Hmmm... new shoes? 

* BTW dave doesn't own any credit card. Isn't he smart? 

No free ride

Did I mention that joelle needs to pay on rides now? Yup, no more free rides for her. She doesn't get on the train often and she surely doesn't get on the bus too. Mummy gets sick on bus rides so we hardly take the bus. She usually gets bus rides with her grandma. She enjoys those on the double decker bus. Thank goodness grandma is the bus person because she enjoys bus rides more than the train. We do take the train sometimes, to get to the library, to the polyclinic or to do some shopping. Most of the time we take the taxi. Fast, convenient and best for the motion sickness prone mummy. Mummy really misses the cars. Oh my dashing Dreamer, my cool Second-Chance and my beautiful Blanco, where are you? Mummy miss you so much. When will mummy ever get another car to drive? With rising petrol prices and such terribly high cost of living now in Singapore, I think mummy can pile her pillow high tonight and continue dreaming. Vvvrroomm.... honk honk...

Comprehensible?

Isabelle is speaking more now and in short break-up sentences. So cute. In the morning before she goes for her morning exercise, she would come and tell me "yi-ound (playground) so hot" or if it's raining she will say "yi-ound wet, raining, not (cannot) go" and when she returns home and sees our neighbor rae-ann, she will say "rae-ann swing first?" because once she made the poor girl cry when she refused to let her on the swing. Now she'll always let her swing first. They are about five months apart. When she's hungry she says "meimei lunch now". Lately she has difficulty moving her bowels and she would make a face and tell me "poo-poo, side (backside) pain, tuck (stuck), ouch" and she knows how to say "ma-mach (stomach) pain, meimei want poo-poo". In preparation for mary's departure, we have been talking to her about it and one day she says "airy home, meimei home" meaning she wants to go home with mary! Oh dear... so I continue to talk to her until now she will just make a sad face and says "ok, can" when ask if mary could go home. She's getting better at joining words together but her pronunciation is still a little warp. It still takes me some serious focusing to gather what she's trying to say. But like I said before, I'm still not worrying. She's a little genius in the making... with hidden talents. Have a good weekend because we will.

Good morning playground 1

Good morning! We're off for our morning exercise! Since the start of the june holidays, we bring the girls to the playground or the garden for a ball game or cycling around the void deck every morning. For the first two weeks, mummy brought them down so mary could use some time to do some cleaning with the radio on! Since the arrival of isabelle, I forgot how to operate the radio! Yes, it's been that long since I enjoy music. When I was caring for joelle in 2003/2004, We danced to all kinds of music, be it rock, pop, soul or "sob". We sing to every song on the radio (almost) and rock to all those baby hits. It was therapeutic upbringing I believe. Now it's practically noise pollution every minute of their waking time. Not possible to hear the music in the background. So I have to say... sadly that isabelle miss all the musical fun I enjoyed with joelle. So just two weeks ago, mummy decided that it's time for some music therapy again. For 30 minutes everyday, mummy will enjoy some pure musical-therapy while mary brings them for their morning exercise and in exchange mummy will bring them for their evening walks so mary could have her dinner in peace and catch some rest (to the ears mainly). So far it works fine for us both and we're happy with the arrangement. Daddy even offer to take them out once a week (on his rest days) for two hours so the silence-starved women in the house could rest their legs and clean their ears. Of course to the rhythm of the soulful music. Ah... now I look forward to my music therapy timeout. I still love you kids!

Japanese for lunch?

  
This week we decide on japanese. We have the yellow pickle, crab stick, chicken sausage, carrot and the sushi rice. But we could not find the seaweed so we end up using egg to wrap. After all the time spent on getting the rice and egg to wrap nicely, the first thing they did was to pull them all apart. Aiya! Should have just serve them the "do-it-yourself" way. But we all had fun that afternoon and the girls enjoy their meal very much. Look at the way issy eats, daddy always say she has no image. They have ice cream for desert. Now... now... what's next?

  

Shop till you drop

Isabelle had redefined the meaning of "shop till you drop". Look at her fingers still clutching that day's groceries. I found this video in my mobile phone and laughed till I drop. Literally! Enjoy... 

Someday...

Whenever I go to the hospital for my check up, I feel sad. Sad not so much for myself but for the patients I see at the hospital. They never fail to remind me to count my blessings. Especially the older patients. Sometimes I wonder... If people knows that they are going to be weak, helpless, tired and sickly when they aged, would they still slog so hard for "a better future" or would they just "live today like there is no tomorrow"? Which would you choose? Well, we have the girls so we could not "live today like there is no tomorrow" but we do remind ourselves to enjoy each day while it lasts. We both agreed that enjoyment is a luxury of the young. Therefore we work hard for the comforts of today and a proper headstart for the girls. So here's a letter to the girls... in preparation of OUR future.

To our precious girls,

If someday we get all dirty when eating, do not scream at us. Not only because we are your parents but because you girls were messy eaters before. Please have patience and remember the times we spent cleaning up after you.  

If someday we start to repeat after ourselves, do not shout at us to stop. Smile and remember the times when you girls were small and plead with me to read you the same story over and over again. 

If someday we do not want a shower or a change of fresh clothes, please remember the komodo dragon that lives in the bathroom waiting to play with you girls every shower. And the snuggle promised with each fresh change of clothes. We do not expect to be coax like the way we coax you but do coax us anyway. 

If someday your technology made us look ignorant, please give us (especially your daddy) some time to learn. Remember how we taught you so many things, from the way to eat, the way to dress, even the way to confront life's challenges. Do you girls think you have these ethics from birth? You might not believe us but we really did all that with love and patience. 

If someday we start to lose focus, please lead us back without walking away. Joelle, remember how important it is to you that I listen to your stories even when I'm busy in the office and how upset you get when I do not look at you as you were recounting those tales. I want you to know that even if I do forget many things, my heart would never forget how much I love you both. 

If ever we do not want to eat, please do not force us. Or when our tired legs do not allow us to walk, please give us your hands the same way we did when you gave us your first step. Perhaps we really can't find the strength to hold up. Maybe we only want to lean on you once more, to feel close and loved. We might miss this physical closeness as you girls are growing up. So support us, let us enjoy being dependent for once. 

And if someday I say to you that I do not want to live anymore, that I want to die, please do not get too angry. I believe someday you will understand. Despite all my mistakes as a parent, I had always wanted the best for you girls. Please try to understand that I never want to be a burden. I love you girls too much. Please love each other the way I love you both.

Mummy...

True love

This is where we spent our sixth wedding anniversary. In Kuala Lumpur with the girls. We had a great time, very relaxing actually (maybe because we brought our helper and my mum along too) and the trip was smoother than expected. The flight was quick and easy, the girls didn't experience too much discomfort. The hotel was clean and convenient with up to standard service. The itinerary was relaxing and stress free. No major fight, no major argument and no major unhappiness. It was a deserving trip for us all. I think even mary had it pretty easy too. Will there be more trips coming up? Well, we're not planning any more for this year. Perhaps in April again next year. Holidays are expensive and not always fuss free. The preparation usually takes up more time and effort than the trip itself. I guess I really only like the idea of a holiday more than the holiday. Somehow I'm happy that I'd travel to most of the places I like already in my heydays. I guess what's left can remain as... what's left. As long as we're happy, it doesn't really matter where and how we spend our anniversaries. For all that matter, it could be a beach barbecue or a picnic in the park or even a candlelight dinner with a specially self made cake at home with the girls. I strongly believes that as long as the family stays united, any event could be filled with lots of love.

Published?

   

Mummy wish. I came across this fun software and spent one afternoon playing around with joelle. She's the one who chose the magazine title and photos. But she almost put her sister in the magazine "moron". Ha! Everyday we have two slots of 30 minutes for activity and besides drawing, painting, crafting, baking, we are running out of ideas, so this computer time is something fresh but it's not easy finding things she can handle and it's pretty costly to buy computer software for kids. Any sites that offer activities for children? Or any new suggestion (free preferably) to occupy a child for 30 minutes?

Gift not good enough

Have you ever experience giving someone a gift and have it thrown back at your face? Well, I have. Twice actually. Once was during my poly days. I remembered that pretty clearly as I thought that was quite surreal. I wasn't too affected by that incident but I somehow could remember it. Anyway it happened again. This time it affected me and I'm super pissed by it. This is what happen. Dave and I believed in gratitude and we believe in payback too. So whenever we won 4D or Toto, we will give treats and buy stuff for people and even donate to church. That is what we call payback because it is after all not hard earned money. Gratitude is when you want to express thanks to people you care about, people who did good things for you, people like your parents. And we do not wait for easy money to show gratitude. 

This year we decide to give our parents a nice gift because we are blessed with a good 2007. And I thank God for that blessing for without his grace it's really difficult to live on a single income. So we decide to start with Dave's parents. With a little surplus in our balance sheet, we want to give them a nice wedding anniversary gift and what better way than to renovate their house. After considering cost and needs, we decided on the kitchen as it is the place where family gatherings are held, great food are served and conversation flow. We presented the idea to them and they were very excited and a little embarrassed by the romantic idea of an anniversary gift. They initially embraced the gift with wide open hands and a grin from ear to ear. I guess they like the filial piety feeling about the whole thing. The contractor came, took measurement, gave a quotation and when we were about to finalize the project, problems arise. My father-in-law suddenly have his own ideas and he is someone who doesn't listen to explanation. So Dave ended up in a heated argument with him. Then my mother-in-law shared with us opinions and other suggestions she heard which got us in a fury. Why should we be upset with additional suggestion? Have you heard of "too many cooks spoil the broth"? What more if the cook is just standing there without helping? I do not mind hearing opinions from my parents-in-law as it is their kitchen and they will be using it. But to get additional cost-appreciating ideas from people who will probably not contribute a single cent is such a pain! Every suggestion only increases cost and you know how much that frustrate us? We have a budget for this project and it's meant to make the kitchen more livable and comfortable. We're giving them a simple but nice kitchen, not a luxurious 5-star kitchen. We earn money, not print money! Goodness! 

Anyway what should be a happy intention for a surprise anniversary gift becomes a regretted decision. What started as excitement has since become something to "get over and be done with" kind of disappointment. Sigh... some people just don't appreciate what they are being given and some people just can't stay out of things they cannot reach. Actually we don't care if we get any contribution to share the cost because it is our idea and it's within our means. But to NOT contribute and yet add so much salt and pepper is like "wah lau"! Get real! This is the way of life. Charity organization cannot use their money as they deem fit because they are accountable to donors. This is also the reason why we never want to depend on anyone financially as that would make us accountable and we only want to be accountable to ourselves. So do we still think this is money well spent? I don't know but it tells us a lot of the chinese verse "hao xin mei hao pau". And will we do such things in future? Thanks but no thanks. I think a nice 10 course dinner is also gratitude. Sigh... it sure hurts to have someone complain that your gift is not good enough.

         

A moment of silence

I'm emotional again. Last night, Dave broke me a horrible news. The daughter of our mutual friend passed on and she was only 10 years old. I remembered her as a lovely, friendly and pretty little girl before she left the country with her parents and an older brother. Next thing I knew, they lost her. What has this child done to deserve death? And why this God-fearing, people-loving family who left the country to better the lives of people in need? I mean these are selfless kind souls. I cried at bedtime and joelle asked me why so I gave her a very tight hug and stayed close for almost a minute. I told her I love her so much and made her promise not to leave me (I know... I was an emotional wreak that night). The poor girl actually listened (with wet loving eyes actually) to my "do not cross the road without looking in case a car run over you" and "do not touch your face and mouth with dirty hands in case you get HFMD" and "do not give bad people a chance to get you in case they kill you" kind of morbid shit. Arrgggh... I don't know what got into me to babble such horrible nonsense to my five year old. Goodness, I must have instill lots of fear and insecurity in her sweet innocent soul. Oh boy, this is the second time I lost emotional control of myself. The first was in 2004 when the baby girl of our mutual friend was allowed to die in their arms. I cried for three whole days. Joelle was a baby then and I felt so much for my friend, as a mother, to have to let the life of her first born slip away in her consent. That episode was too much for my post natal emotions to handle and I was practically sobbing with joelle in my arms when I received the news. We were not present at the hospital (only family members were allowed) but we were updated via sms of the process. Dave was very supportive (though he refused to let me attend the funeral in case I might be the one who faint from all that sobbing) and understanding (of my need to cry for that little precious life... for days) during that period. I think that episode did made him a better father in some ways. He realized how fragile life could be and he cried too (by the way) when his friend told him about their decision to let her go. They have moved on ever since and are now parents to two beautiful daughters.  

Sigh... this is a sad, sad entry and they deserve my tears. Now, for a moment of silence.

Mums place... finally

Congratulations mum! You've finally gotten your own flat! It's surely a good way to retire. Don't worry, you can be assured that your granddaughters will be visiting often and they will very likely be given permission to stay over for the weekend (Hippy! Yeah! Celebration!). Now that the flat has been selected, you can start looking at furniture and perhaps some simple renovation to make it cozier. Dave and I agreed to sponsor something. Anything but the flat. We are all very happy for you. It's indeed a long wait and everyone deserve a place to call their own.