Isabelle is an amazing child. She may be less affectionate and less sensitive as compared with her sister but she has the sweetest expression of love if you ask me. And they are always different and suited to each and every occasion. Hardly repeated and totally unexpected.
They were both staying over at my mum's place for three nights on the last week of december. Joelle would call me everyday just to hear my voice and ask about me whereas isabelle would only come to the phone when I ask for her. However when I ask her how much she miss me, I'm totally surprised when she said "everyday". I love this little angel.
I like parties but what I like best is a cosy gathering of good friends. Small sit down meals with a handful of close friends always make the occasion heart-warming and sincere. This year I invited my new found friends from the neighbourhood to a simple home meal. No regrets. I totally enjoyed the day.
Eileen, a car-pooling neighbour who quickly became a good friend, came over for lunch with her kids. I like to host her and I like the fact that besides not eating much greens, she has no qualms about whatever I cooked. Oh, and she gave me a very beautiful 2011 organiser for christmas. It was not the usual organisers that I had for the past many years. This one has the love of a good friend and my only worry is... will I bear to use it?
Jennifer, a playground regular who also became a friend, came over for dinner with her girls. She was kind to bring bottles of sparkling which we enjoyed over dinner. They came down in time for a game of Wii and it was really nice to see the boys at play and the girls "supporting" them. My mum and my sister came over for dinner as well. My brother who recently became a father could not come over as his baby girl is not discharged from the hospital. 
I love christmas and part of the reason is the love and sincerity I feel from the people around me. I'm already a very emotional person and in this season of love, I'm overwhelmed with the warmth and sincerity of friendships. I thank God for the friends He puts in my life. Regardless of the distance, each and every one of them has walked with me and shared some scenery together.
My life was never a fairytale and many unexpected events had rocked my many unstable relationships. I had put my trust in people whom I thought would never judge me and I had learnt from numerous painful experiences that a high wall is the safest place to hide. And I had been behind that wall for more than 10 years now. Recently I hesitantly walked out from behind my high wall to experience what I had missed in the last decade or so. It was one amazing experience. I never felt so alive till I found the reason to love a friend again. This friend inspired the sleeping poet in me and I started writing again. I appreciate that she gave me hope in friendship but I hate to say that we have only been through the lows of my emotional crankiness. We are afterall in good times now. Besides the time bomb that I'm still carrying, I would consider this the good time. She doesn't know me beyond 2010. Am I prepared to take her into the storm? No. I'm not prepared to take this risk. I'm enjoying this friendship beyond my imagination. It wasn't easy for me to leave my sanctuary and I do not intend to run back in so soon. Let me take in more beautiful scenery.
Of all people, I should know that some friends come and go with the wind and I will never know who they are in good times. However I have experienced storms with a handful of really close friends. When I was financially burdened, they did not run and hide. When I was emotional crippled, they held on to my heart. They did not deny me their friendship and love when I was in the pits and I DARE say that they are the people I know will never leave me. I appreciate them from deep down in my heart and I will never forget what these true friends had done for me in times of needs.
So during this season of love and friendship, I want to extend my deepest appreciation to those friends who had stood by me and to those who're willing to stand by me. I thank God everyday for friends and love. I thank God also for the heart full of love in me and I know that I'm blessed beyond words.
Thank you my friends. Thank you God.
It's the beautiful season of love again. Oh how I love this season. Every year I've never fail to do a christmas card for families and friends. To some, this might be the only way to see the girls. To others, it simply makes a nice photo collection. Whatever it is, it makes me happy. I'm happy to do this year after year. 2009, 2008, 2007
This year has been another year of great blessings. The girls are growing well and healthy. Dave is still strong and able. And I am still alive and happy. We have recently achieved another of our dreams and we thank God for the opportunity and blessings to go ahead and reach for it. And we will continue to "pass it on". We will never forget that everything is made possible with God and everything I've prayed for is only attainable in accordance to His will.
This christmas, I pray again for Dave to join the family in prayers. I have not stop believing that God has plans for Dave and it will be revealed in His own time. I'm just asking again, like a gentle reminder.
This christmas, I also want to pray for families who are handling grieve of losing someone they loved or praying helplessly over someone who's awaiting death. My heart goes out to them and I want to pray for comfort and strength, for these families.
As with every year, I pray for a miracle. Nothing is impossible with you Lord. You know what I'm praying for year after year. And if it is your will, Lord, let it be.
My families, my friends, my girls, my man... I love you all.
Merry Christmas everyone!
I have hardly regret anything I had done before. In fact I'm one person who believe that regrets are never meant for things that I did but for things that I did not do. Those are the things that would haunt me for a long time.
I want to go back to 2004. I want to be with my Kong Kong.
I want to be holding his hands.
I want to tell him I'm here.
I want to see him for the very last time.
I want him to know that he still is my favourite man.
If I could turn back time, I would stay on with him at the hospital. I should not have gone home. I should have stayed by his side. I left him that afternoon with the promise to see him again the next day. He left me early the next morning. I did not get to see him again. I miss him so much.
Kong Kong, I wanted to be there.
You had been the only man who had loved me so unconditionally, so genuinely, so consistently. You had loved me more than my father ever did. You knew that being the second girl in my family, I would be neglected, unloved and unwanted by my father. You showered upon me the attention I yearned from my father, the encouragement I so rightfully deserved and the understanding I desperately cry for. You tried your best to fill that gap. I could still remember how you would wait for me at the bus-stop when I came home late, how you would prepare my favorite breakfast morning after morning till I begged for a change, how you took a bus to my school just to check out the place I studied, how you would watch from the TV (the lift had a surveillance camera linked to every home's TV) to make sure I was safe in the lift and how you kept all the cards and little notes that I wrote to you. You were all that I'd wanted in a father and you were the best grandfather I'd ever known. It is my blessing to have you as my grandfather and I'm sad that my children could never experience your love.
Kong Kong, please know that I would never have stayed away if I knew. I would have drop everything and rushed to the hospital if I knew. I would trade anything for you to see me that last time. If I knew...
If I could go back to 2004, I want to tell you again that you've always been my favourite man. Always.
Im getting all excited...
